“Say not in grief that she is no more, but say in thankfulness that she was. A death is not the extinguishing of a light, but the putting out of the lamp because the dawn has come.” ~ Tagore
Trauma Informed Practice Portland OR
Unless you have suffered a great loss, you will never hold the expanse of what it is to truly grieve. Grief is something that can take over the whole body. No one ever prepares you for how physical it is or how long it lasts. The closer and more significant the loss, the harder and more consuming it is. Grief unlocks all past loss and unleashes a lifetime of all that will never be and all we will never have again.
The suffering will lessen
If you are experiencing a loss or dealing with a loved one who is dying, the suffering does lessen; you do learn how to live with it.
Grief is, however, layered and complex. It is an ongoing process. There is nothing wrong with you when you question why you are not over it. Loss, especially if it is ongoing, becomes a difficult thing for those in your life to understand. Although well intentioned, most people need for it to be over long before it actually is. This can add to a feeling of loneliness and isolation.
It is your personal journey, but it is important not to grieve alone. Build your supports. Stay connected to your friends and family. Even though they may be limited with what they can give, they love you and are trying.
Having an objective, knowledgeable professional who understands and can guide you is a valuable asset. It takes time and it does get better. Your connection was worthy and your worthiness to live without them is just as valuable.